Darling you send me..

Monday, January 29, 2007

A Marky Reminder

Yesterday I picked up Donald Trump's book succintly entitled "How To Get Rich". At RM33 it was an investment risk worth plonking on so what the hey. Figures.. a day later and i'm nearly done with it, boy are his fonts big. It's like Trumpy gems in Enid Blyton form. So for the only person who reads my blog, here's notes on his book in true Trump style (less than 10 words):
- toot your horn when you're good, because no one else will
- invite bank managers over for dinner to restructure loans
- read lots, know lots and enjoy what you do
- invest simply and train your instincts
- don't ever interrupt your boss or client when they're talking

"Anyone with more than a little curiosity and ambition will at some point be tempted to try a different challenge on new terrain. Take the risk, but before you do, do everything you can do learn what you're getting yourself into, and be sure as you can you got the right mind-set for the job"

- The Donald

Punny

1. Two antennas met on a roof fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, “A beer please, and one for the road.”

6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, “Does this taste funny to you?”

7. “Doc, I can’t stop singing ‘The Green, Green Grass of Home.’” “That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.” “Is it common?” Well, “It’s Not Unusual.”

8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, “I was artificially inseminated this morning.” “I don’t believe you,” says Dolly. “It’s true, no bull!” exclaims Daisy.

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.

11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.

12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, “Doctor, doctor, I can’t feel my legs!” The doctor replied, “I know you can’t - I’ve cut off your arms!”

13. I went to a seafood disco last week… and pulled a mussel.

14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says “Dam!”

16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly, it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why,” they asked, as they moved off. “Because”, he said, “I can’t stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.”

18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named “Ahmal.” The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him “Juan.” Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, “They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal.”

19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him …(Oh, man, this is so bad, it’s good)… . A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

20. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Cookie Addiction

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Paper Thin

If you're beautiful it's easy to forget other people. There's always someone else who wants to know you, and so no one ever matters very much, so you tend to lose even the ones you're fond of. If you're beautiful, you always have to be suspicious. Sometimes you wonder why people are being nice to you, and sometimes you know that your beauty is the reason that some people want to be horrible to you. People think that they want to know you, but they really they are fascinated by a mask.

If you're beautiful, you never know how real is the friendliness of your friends. You have to keep testing them, and then sometimes you go too far, and that way you lose them. It's a kind of loneliness that you never escape, but if you don't want anyone to know you, to know you as you really are, then beauty is the perfect protection. You get solitude. Freedom.

- Birds Without Wings

Cheque