Darling you send me..

Friday, July 21, 2006

Some soppy..

This one goes out to all my marrying friends out there - Wan Han, Chun Yew, Steven, Arvind and Pumpkin. Marriage counselling ho!

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, "How do I know if I married the right person? "I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said,"It depends. Is that your husband?"

In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the imagery of that _expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling is love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work,a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE
RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the _expression "the labor of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific
things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage. Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable...you can "make" love.

Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... Not just a feeling.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Hmm Footie


Welcome to Bologna on Capital Gold for England versus San Marino with Tennent's Pilsner, brewed with Czechoslovakian yeast for that extra Pilsner taste and England are one down.
- Jonathan Pearce

That's great, tell him he's Pele and get him back on.
- John Lambie, Partick Thistle manager, when told a concussed striker did not know who he was.

Tell the Kraut to get his ass up front. We don't pay a million for a guy to hang around in defence.
- NY Cosmos executive, on Beckenbauer's positioning.

I've told the players we need to win so that I can have the cash to buy some new ones.
- Chris Turner, Peterborough manager, before LC QF, 1992.

I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country.
- Ian Rush

Germany are a very difficult team to play...they had 11 internationals out there today
- Steve Lomas

For a game played in Cologne, that stunk
- Mark Lawrenson at the end of 120 minutes of Switzerland v Ukraine.

My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7
- David Beckham

We're definitely going to get Brooklyn christened, but we don't know into which religion!
- David Beckham

I always used to go for blondes and quiet girls, but Victoria is the total opposite - dark and loud.
- David Beckham

I don't think I'll ever go naked, but I'll never say never.
- David Beckham

Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level. But he's the best manager I've ever had.
- David Beckham

It's a great honour...and it's an honour to be with Her Majesty, obviously...I'm very honoured to be given this honour (upon receiving his OBE).
- David Beckham

Well, I can play in the centre, on the right and occasionally on the left side (when asked if he was a 'volatile' player)
- David Beckham

He can't speak Turkey, but you can tell he's delighted
- Kevin Keegan

Shaun Wright-Phillips has got a big heart. It's as big as him, which isn't very big, but it's bigger'
- Kevin Keegan

'I don't make predictions. I never have done and I never will do.'
- Ian Wright

Tore's got a groin strain and he's been playing with it.'
- Alex McLeish

'Although we are playing Russian Roulette we are obviously playing Catch 22 at the moment and it’s a difficult scenario to get my head round'
- Paul Sturrock

Great metaphors of the day

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

A Brilliant Idea

India, which hangs like a wet washcloth from the towel rack of Asia, presented itself to Tex as he landed in Delhi (or was it Bombay?), as if it mattered because Tex finally had an idea to make his mark and fortune and that idea was a chain of steak houses to serve the millions and he wondered, as he deplaned down the steep, shiny, steel steps, why no one had thought of it before.

Winner of the Grand Panjandrum’s Special Award category in the 2005 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest.